An Interesting Theory about Bed

That very sanctuary we go to everytime it is time to sleep. That very place that we generate and activate our subconcious mind. That very place that we woke up feeling rejuvenated and can't wait to go back there, it is all about the bed, our sleeping island.

The bed has always been an essential part of life. First acting as a sleeping place and a soft land for us as babies to lie on, later it evolves to become not only a place for rest and relaxation, it serves as the very sanctuary sometimes for people wanting to release themselves and conceal themselves for privacy, via crying while sleeping at the same time. It is also a place where best friends hang out and spill their heart out for each other, maybe needing one another to hold on to them. A place for lovers to share their very secrets, or just simply hold on to each other. Bed serves many purposes, though many had only acknowledge their primary existence, which is to allow them to go to dreamland.

But recently, when I saw something inspiring, I realised that how much memories a bed can have. Before I talk about that inspiring tale, I want to try to explain the theory of a bed, between singles and couples, and relate it to single bed and queen size bed.

When we are single, the only thing enough to fit us is, of course, the single bed. It is the private spot for us, for us to lay down, for us to ponder our thoughts, for us to relax, maybe worrying a little of what is in store for us the day after that. There is literally nothing to bother about. We could spread our legs wide and conquer the whole bed without ever needing to worry about others, except that we might fall down.

Of course, there are a few lucky ones who owns a queen sized bed themselves. While they had almost the same characteristics as the previous ones that I have mentioned, they need not worry about space. They have ALL the space they have. Rolling around and about, tossing and turning to their delight, and they'll never fell off the bed. Sleeping in a queen sized bed like that is just pure jealousy to me, especially when the materials used to create a queen sized is so much of high quality compare to single beds. They are much like singles' heaven, as they are more comfortable to sleep on.

However, when singles turn into couples, they might enjoy their very own paradise, maybe wanting to sleep back at their beds. Couples who tried to sleep together for the first time might not be used to the concept of sleeping together, because they were so used to having their own beds that maybe they were afraid of hurting the other by kicking them down, which is why it will not be comfortable. Or maybe they wanted to be romantic, therefore they hug each other to sleep, or the girl would sleep on her lover's arms, as they sleep together, only to wake up with severe muscle strains and numbness. That is not a romantic way to wake up at all.

But as time passed, and when each couple are familiar with the other's sleeping behaviour, they would counter each other and therefore adapt to each other, getting used to sleeping with each other, and therefore, they start to acknowledge their partners, always careful that their partner will have enough to sleep, and sleeping like that for over 10 years will make a difference on how you sleep, and you have gone used to sharing a bed with your lover. But, what happens when you are back being single again?

Sometimes it could be hard. Maybe it's about habit, maybe it's about the one you slept with, but I've seen in my own eyes how old habits can never die. It could be painful, it could be heartwarming, I just don't know what to say when I see it. My mother had been sleeping alone since the starting of this year, after my brother is finally old enough to go and sleep in his own room. She had always been sleeping on the right side of the bed, whilst my dad slept on the left side. After my dad's demise, I thought, by right, she should be having the whole bed to her own. But no. She still sleeps at one side, and leave the left side vacant. Sometimes, me and my siblings will occupy that side to sleep on the comfortable bed once in a while. But when she sleeps alone, it is always at the right side. Never have I seen her sleeping on the left side.

I don't know that she sleeps like that out of habit or not, but it pains me to see her sleeping like that. It's as if, my dad is still alive, still there, sleeping by her side. Should I tell her to try sleeping on both sides? She now owns the whole bed by herself. She's single. A queen sized bed is her luxury. Her intensive working hours should be able to let her understand that she needs the bed the most. And yet, she still sleeps by her side, rather unaware that she sleeps like that for the past 20 years, with 6 of them actually trying to adjust herself to sleep like a single again. Is she pining for my dad to return? Is she waiting for another man to sleep by her side when we are all grown up to spread our wings?

Sharing a bed is not easy as it looks. It takes some kind of special tolerance to be able to sleep together on a bed and still do not think that the other is a tiresome burden, just to wake up feeling fresh and rejuvenated. But for my mom's case, I look at it as a different story.

I think my mom wants to believe that my dad is still sleeping by her side.

Sorry if this post is a little confusing to some readers. Thanks and good day.