I don't get it

So many things that happenned that are unexplainable. So many questions left unanswered. So little truth, the real truth are on the surface. How are we going to continue surviving on hope when it is false hope? I don't get it. How people can smile at a dire situation that seems crumbling without hesitation?

We are deeply saddened by the recent murder case of a young girl. We are deeply saddened by the situations of our safety which is close to none now. We are deeply saddened by the facts of our hearts, which should turn sincere, now shadowed by treachery, scandals, evil. How often do we face ourselves, ask questions that we want answering, and getting a truthful answer with a guarantee? I don't get it. Our society is turning vague, dark, no more close relations with each other.

I wish to change. I want to change. I don't boast, but the least I can do is contribute what I can for a change. Yet, I was a little down when my relatives thought my chosen path was for another path: working. My answer is NO, I don't choose this course for the sake of "just having another degree to make myself employable" or "my career path will change and it has nothing to do with what I learn now". NO, I choose to follow it through and through because I love that course, and the career aspects that is to come after that. I don't get it, why people tell me to change my mind?

Sigh, the media. Our very own mass media. How many now are reporting according to what it is? How many wanted to change but are afraid of the consequences? How many wanted to obtain media freedom, speech freedom, writing freedom? But yet, if media freedom is obtained, how many are planning to exploit it? How many are scheming for scandals for their own benefits? How many are true to their fair and balanced reporting? I don't get it, why can't the media stand up for themselves?

My temper raised now and then. It always strained friendships, family ties, love relationships. I have a love/hate relationship with it. When it was raised at the right time, I woke up a conscience that was in a deep sleep. But if not, I make things worse for both. Me and the other person. But sometimes I get angry because I want to have questions answered. I don't care how hurt I'll be knowing the answer, as long as it's an answer, and I'll be satisfied. My heart is known to heal itself quicker than before. But I don't get it, why are you so hesistant to answer questions with my anger soaring? Shouldn't it be answered before it became worse?

Sigh, I don't get it. Too many uncovered truths, who to believe? Anonymous people who I've never seen before starts hurling accusations. They respond through the media without hesitation of not being nice. It a war of words. Who wins when both the media and the Internet are unbelievable sources now? Extremism, it just had to exist. Lies, it just had to exist. Betrayal, it just had to exist. Cowardness, it just had to exist. I hate Pandora and her box. Can we find a better box?

I don't get it. It's so hard to be human now.

Oh wait. We are human, just back to become primitive humans.

I just don't get it. And my questions will be left unanswered until I can find it.

The Touch

She thinks through the whole process. It won't work. It just won't work. Sigh......

"Why is it so difficult to get a present for him?"

She hated the current situation bogging her down, unable to find a private space to do what she had desired to do. She kind of envied her friends, who had the financial ability and also the time to buy their loved ones presents; but her, she's monetarily able, but not the time. Of all occasions, she had to be deceived by time now.

She relented, throwing her frustrations aside, and picked up her lecture notes, sigh......there she goes again, thinking of the inability to perform her role, sighing over what will be coming soon. Then, she sees him, over the internet. He had just finished his exam. It's her turn tomorrow. Then he mentioned about their meeting. She gulped, not knowing what to answer.

She hates it, she didn't like to be the one not capable of giving him a promising day. He had done it several times. She's always flattered, touched, his little actions never fail to lighten her day when she's facing her darkest moments. She always had to go through pain, and he's always there.

She was saved by his touch, that very touch that turn her stone cold heart to warm up for more possibilities. She thought that she'll always be a friend, a good family member, and no else. She had given up hopes that she'll ever be anyone's lover, because she don't even know how to love. She didn't want to go through the pain, the pain of being rejected, put behind, getting sick of it. She had a few flames that were put out very quickly. But one flame remained burning, deeply inside her.

"Hey, wassup?"

"Hey, errr...."

"?"

"I'm sorry....I couldn't get u a present...."

"Its ok...we'll still have fun tml"

He's always like that. He doesn't mind the little things. But she knows, its always the little things that he keeps it deep in his heart. She too, remembers his every little moments. It was his touch that first brought them to where they stand now.

They had a very good birthday celebration. She was delighted to see his happiness. She has had experience. Now she anticipates for more to come, hoping for another adventure for them.

Ending

I've known you for so long
We have drifted apart somehow
Why? Why?
Why can't I prevent this?

I've known you for so long
You have turned cold towards me somehow
Why? Why?
Such a messy web

I didn't want to give up
Don't want to let you go
But yet I still do
Because I found out the truth

So this is how you look at me
How you think of me
When I valued your presence so much
It just turn you a backstabber

I choose this! I choose this!
I choose to allow this to happen
If not, you can't escape me
You can't leave my grasp

How do you perceive me?
Do you think I'd let go that easily?
Too late, I've set a curse
To make sure that you are burned into ashes
Even if you are ashes
I'd turn you into particles
Fly? No!
You'll deal with death!

But no, that's just not me
I prefer to let go
Your smile is that reason
If not, I'd sentence you for treason

Treachery?
Betrayal?
No, everyone's like that
I might too
But you'd done it first
I won't repeat your steps

I want to give this an ending
You and me shall remember
For you, I don't know
For me, a good ending
For both of us, a desire

Disclaimer : This is just my expression and no, it didn't happen in real life. I'm happy, studying, and still very much in love. Peace out.