Surprise.
Yeap, I've decided to change my blogger template to this to distinguish what is my personal blog and what is my public one. I've decided to make this personal. The public one is out there somewhere. You just need to look for it. I have yet to add new things into it yet.
I have other surprises too. I found that for the first time in many years, I did not dread Chinese New Year's Eve. Previously my perception has been clouded by years of not seeking any attention from the relatives, but so many people have since left this clan, it's no longer exciting nor fun. It's just an obligation.
My cousins though, tried something different. They called it "Cousin bonding time", told us to all come out and play card games like mafia, so on so forth. It's different since they used to be the ones who do not try to talk to any of us. Maybe they've grown up, matured abit, that we could blend together. But it's abit hard to repair past relationships ever since. Me thinks the Chinese New Year Eve will always be like that, not exciting enough.
Relatives have been asking me when I graduate. When I tell them the date they'll ask what I plan to do. And, as if it was an embarassing thing to do, my mom would tell them my intentions to work overseas (it's still a thought, I don't know if I can, it'll be nice if I can). And then they suggested me to learn business. Good trade, good knowledge, increases experience. Bah >_>, them business-minded fellas. What's sad is that since they don't know how the media works (being the only one in it, ha), I find it hard to explain to them, especially when my experience limits to that 3 months of writing safe news, as my lecturer calls it.
My maternal side of relatives were a lot easier to deal with, and so much nicer, at least they don't ask that kind of questions. I think it's because I see them much more often than I see my paternal side. It was really funny because this year, we booked to go to Overseas Restaurant, a private room, and there was this karaoke machine. My whole family (well, almost whole family) went berzerk, looking for songs, and singing songs I've known since childhood aloud. We are all karaoke fanatics really. And I just sang, sang my heart out. I don't want to be the reluctant one since, well, I was the oldest of all the cousins there.
It was new, something different, I feel that this year my perceptions that I used to hold were challenged. But I happily disregard them, I never liked to look at things negatively and rightfully, this turn of change allows me to drop that thought. I honestly wish after this year, next year will also be the same, happy, non-intrusive Chinese New Year where I'll be happy to share my experience, I think.
I think I'll stop here, the throat infection's been getting into me, I'm in the midst of transferring my old stuff from my old laptop to the new one, and I want to get used to the new device. Yeap =), I've gotten the Blackberry Onyx and the Laptop. Full review of the Blackberry after transfer is complete.
Oh, and I registered to be a voter today =). Life is good.
If you have any comments, please feel free to email me. I've updated my email, no longer relying on Marc's email LOL. The comments are still filled with spam though. If anyone know what to do, email me too. Thank you!
And yes, that is my name.
Bye. Happy Chinese New Year. May you have many pleasant surprises in return too.
Three
Posted by
cDi
Since I still have that little more time, I guess I'll conjure a post about the third year.
It was the year of so many changes for me and him.
We changed a lot, undergoing two internships in one year, fought a lot more than usual, have become more honest with each other (hence the increase in arguments), and still have so much love for each other.
But it's like going back to square one. Gone were the days where his idealists views, measured with my real-time experiences, that we find it so hard accepting each other sometimes. Going through those two internships, and having me moving to another campus just gives us more time to discover ourselves, and fortunately or not, to learn even more about each other.
Ephyon in 2007 is never Ephyon in 2010.
And to tell anybody who cared about this relationship, it is actually in the state of mending itself. I have learnt throughout my 2009 that I should have just kept to my principles before I let anyone tamper over it and make decisions I don't like to keep using. I guess my stubbornness paid off somewhat, and now people are better at seeing how I really am before they presume what I'm not.
Unfortunately, I can't do the same to him. We are both just too stubborn.
The fact that I've detached myself from almost everyone right from the start of this year spells a doom in my relationship with them for the coming years of my life. The fact that I've detest a few upcoming events might make me look like another loser in the group (which I don't mind losing, I've been adamant at leaving and not turning back). But due to the fact that this group was the very thing Ephyon and I and this bunch of people whom I know since Foundation have built, it was meant to last. With more and more additional beings into the group which I personally don't feel necessary. Which is why I want to leave, coupled with a few hates that I have bore for the past few years, and it's a signal for me to go.
I'm honest with myself and with the others, but Ephyon never once want me to hurt any of his friends through my brash and selfish actions. I hate it when he goes against my will with reasonings that was sometimes illogical.
It gets very complicated sometimes and I don't fancy being in a relationship anymore. I'm sure at some points he might also feel the same. There is a certain restriction, there is a certain bond that needs upkeeping. I can't just dump the relationship to go on another trail of my life, and I will be forced to do another balancing act once I'm out in the open in the working world.
If you ask me now, I honestly don't know where this relationship will be heading. It's a miracle it reached the third year, and I can still write about the same guy for so long. It's amazing, coming from a non-existing vow, a barely needed chase, a seal of a kiss between a girl and a boy who don't know what lies ahead of them.
With all this faced it could also mean there are going to be several more challenges ahead of us. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone I can make it, not after the two internships which was truly an eye-opening factor for both me and him.
It's times like this I'm also glad that I got this great man at the same time who's willing to offer half of his life to share with me, something I'm still unwilling to return sometimes. I'm grateful that he was partly the reason why I'm going to go back to my old self, because he was comfortable enough to allow me to. Therefore, I might look like a shut-in from the outside, from people who don't know me, but in truth, I have priorities and principles, and only he sees it. Hopefully my other friends see it too.
With that said, I think it's time I give him a proper identity. Calling him Ephyon was never my favourite, because I feel like it's just yet another virtual name amongst the various virtual ones we have. But thankfully he does have an English name, therefore not only give him some sense of identity for my writing, but still protects his anonymity, somewhat.
Say hello to Marc. The name Ephyon will be put to rest.
What will happen between me and Marc this year, I honestly don't know. But hopefully we'll have many more years to come that we could cherish, that my ambitions do not deter this relationship, that maybe, just maybe, a proper space between the both of us, so that no one else could interfere anymore.
That's all. I love you Marc.
P.S: I'm going to close the comment boxes for the time being. Too many spams around it. Thanks.
It was the year of so many changes for me and him.
We changed a lot, undergoing two internships in one year, fought a lot more than usual, have become more honest with each other (hence the increase in arguments), and still have so much love for each other.
But it's like going back to square one. Gone were the days where his idealists views, measured with my real-time experiences, that we find it so hard accepting each other sometimes. Going through those two internships, and having me moving to another campus just gives us more time to discover ourselves, and fortunately or not, to learn even more about each other.
Ephyon in 2007 is never Ephyon in 2010.
And to tell anybody who cared about this relationship, it is actually in the state of mending itself. I have learnt throughout my 2009 that I should have just kept to my principles before I let anyone tamper over it and make decisions I don't like to keep using. I guess my stubbornness paid off somewhat, and now people are better at seeing how I really am before they presume what I'm not.
Unfortunately, I can't do the same to him. We are both just too stubborn.
The fact that I've detached myself from almost everyone right from the start of this year spells a doom in my relationship with them for the coming years of my life. The fact that I've detest a few upcoming events might make me look like another loser in the group (which I don't mind losing, I've been adamant at leaving and not turning back). But due to the fact that this group was the very thing Ephyon and I and this bunch of people whom I know since Foundation have built, it was meant to last. With more and more additional beings into the group which I personally don't feel necessary. Which is why I want to leave, coupled with a few hates that I have bore for the past few years, and it's a signal for me to go.
I'm honest with myself and with the others, but Ephyon never once want me to hurt any of his friends through my brash and selfish actions. I hate it when he goes against my will with reasonings that was sometimes illogical.
It gets very complicated sometimes and I don't fancy being in a relationship anymore. I'm sure at some points he might also feel the same. There is a certain restriction, there is a certain bond that needs upkeeping. I can't just dump the relationship to go on another trail of my life, and I will be forced to do another balancing act once I'm out in the open in the working world.
If you ask me now, I honestly don't know where this relationship will be heading. It's a miracle it reached the third year, and I can still write about the same guy for so long. It's amazing, coming from a non-existing vow, a barely needed chase, a seal of a kiss between a girl and a boy who don't know what lies ahead of them.
With all this faced it could also mean there are going to be several more challenges ahead of us. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone I can make it, not after the two internships which was truly an eye-opening factor for both me and him.
It's times like this I'm also glad that I got this great man at the same time who's willing to offer half of his life to share with me, something I'm still unwilling to return sometimes. I'm grateful that he was partly the reason why I'm going to go back to my old self, because he was comfortable enough to allow me to. Therefore, I might look like a shut-in from the outside, from people who don't know me, but in truth, I have priorities and principles, and only he sees it. Hopefully my other friends see it too.
With that said, I think it's time I give him a proper identity. Calling him Ephyon was never my favourite, because I feel like it's just yet another virtual name amongst the various virtual ones we have. But thankfully he does have an English name, therefore not only give him some sense of identity for my writing, but still protects his anonymity, somewhat.
Say hello to Marc. The name Ephyon will be put to rest.
What will happen between me and Marc this year, I honestly don't know. But hopefully we'll have many more years to come that we could cherish, that my ambitions do not deter this relationship, that maybe, just maybe, a proper space between the both of us, so that no one else could interfere anymore.
That's all. I love you Marc.
P.S: I'm going to close the comment boxes for the time being. Too many spams around it. Thanks.
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