The Culture of Intimacy

May I ask the readers, those who already had a relationship: How intimate can you go with your own love partners? I assume that some are only limited to just holding hands; while others might be more passionate, and they hugged each other, they kissed, they allow their partners to touch some of the private areas of their body, and of course, the ultimate love ritual, sex.

People get very excited when they discuss about sex. It is and always is a taboo subject in the Asian countries. Just mention these three alphabets, S.E.X, and men will light up and start imagining about their encounter with women and how to get them into bed with them. But it is still not an open topic, which one leads to this curiousity: India and China are one of those countries with the most population, and yet they are also conservative when it comes to intimacy. No one is openly claiming that their sexual lifestyle is satisfying.

Still, through the studies of sexual history, dating back to 1500 years ago, warriors and kings all had happy sex lives, that keeps themselves healthy, and they are always focused on achieving their goals. There is nothing to deny that youngsters are craving for sex. With their young blood rushing around their veins, these adolescents are always full of emotion and creating new hope for the people. It is very common for girls and boys to get involved in sex after some time into their relationship. As portrayed from some Japanese comics (or more commonly known as manga), those "shojo" (meaning young girls) comics often portray girls in reality, who fall in love and are willing to give away their virginity to the man they love. The manga had shamelessly show us how much of sex that young people can have. The manga love story was a story full of passion and desire, that even after they broke up, the girls held no regret of having sex with their ex-boyfriends.

It is disturbing, but true. Those Japanese manga artists, are mocking the society. While the people still reckon that we are a clean society, deep down inside, we know the rebellious youngsters are not satisfied with sex after marriage. They wanted to try sex, knowing what sex is like. Some are not careful and end up getting pregnant, that is when the men felt that it was not a responsibility to have the baby; after all, they are just having fun. Even those women who were pregnant are not regretting their shameful ways. They themselves are not going to be responsible for their actions, that is why they abandon their babies after it was borned, leaving the newly born babies to die, or a good Samaritan to pick them up.

Come to think of it, why do people think of it as disturbing now, when the culture of sex had been practised since the ancient time? Even incest was practised. I'm not sure if everyone knew about it, but before the Queen of Egypt, Cleopatra meet the dashing Julius Caesar or the later counterpart, Marc Antony, she was married to her younger brother, who became a pharoah at the age of fourteen! She was twenty-two, and she had to marry her brother to become the Queen. If that was portrayed in the society now, people would have cry foul over the wedding or the coronation.

Religion seems to be playing a big role of it. Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, all claim that sex is a sin, and that the body of a woman must remain pure until she have found her husband, whom is worthy of taking her purity as she is his wife. Sex has always been a ritual of bond between a man and a woman. That when they have sex, they are spiritually bonded together and attached as one. That is when they feel the fire of love of their partners. I'm sure this is what young couples felt whenever they had sex together, if they truly love each other. Sex with passion and just sex, is two different things. Sure, you might enjoy just having sex, achieving orgasm and leaving yourselves satisfied over the bond. But you would never feel the love, because you do not have any special feelings for that someone, just thinking that she has a sexy body. And that kind of phenomenon is what I see in the American culture.

I do not agree in couples having sex together, until they are certain of their feelings for each other. Some couples just had sex after a few months, thinking that they are going to remain like that forever, but in the end they still broke up, and the one who is going to lose, is the female side. She lost her feelings, and she lost her own purity. That's double the blow a man can have, unless it is the woman who is being manipulative. It works two ways. Not all men are perverts, and not all women are saints either. This is how complex our society is, entangled in the sin of desire, to have sex. One must becareful before giving your first time to the other. Because, who knows, if you trade the purity of your soul to the wrong person, you are bound to be in living hell.

I suggest that the society start bringing up the topic of sex instead of sweeping them under the carpet. Youngsters need to know how sex works, to be aware of the signs that they might get involved in a relationship. They have to be aware instead of accepting all the actions and signs give. Youngsters, both men and women must understand that sometimes, "No" is a good answer. There is no need to rush in having sex. Let the desire accumulate inside you. This is because, if you had found your lifetime partner, she or he is all yours and only yours truly.

Sounds kind of perverted? You do the math.

Thanks and good day.