I wanna puke

But before I do so with my unwell stomach as it is, allow me to go into this immense ranting about how undeserving this position that happens to precede me before I accept the reality in which I happen to come across upon with no warning signs.

I envy girly girls who can afford to look like they just came as descendents of the Moon Goddess, pretty, nice looking, always getting the buzz of attention.

I'm a slob standing next to them. In fact, I'm a guy standing next to them. Totally.

Do I get guys' attraction by giggles and playing up the natural pheromones most girls actually spread around? Nope, I astonished them with amazing geekery, speaking vulgar, and have this large tendency to pat people on the back like a guy do.

I'm exaggerating of course about the vulgar and pat back part, not the geekery sadly.

I wasn't too fancy about being such a girly girl but wow, I wish the world could give non-girlies a break.

So I hate skirts, hates bags (backpacks FTW), and purses, it doesn't make me any less attractive than those girly girls.

And I'm not a tomboy either. I don't fancy having my hair short, or wearing baggy jeans. I'm just not the person who's at either extreme. I'm a girl with long hair who despises acting like a girl.

It's possible that Marc saw me for who I was, obviously, but to think about it, what happens if he's not with me? Am I destined to spend my next life hoping to find a man who does find me attractive in a non-normal sort of way that will send everyone else on the edge?

Just saying.

Now it's time for me to continue ponder the urge of puke. Bye