Step by step

I've been taking small steps forward to experience life all over again. It's been tiring, exhausting, exhilarating journey. Step by step, I see myself turning and transforming.

Admittedly, step by step, I still find myself rooted on the ground, unwilling to move; or looking back, wondering why I even take that step forward when not doing anything seemed so much more comfortable.

Tempting, and i'm trying to resist that temptation. Whatever doubts I have now, i'm putting it to hormones, PMS and whatnot. It's an emotional cyclical thing that puts me in doubt almost at a monthly basis. I'll make the stupidest worst case scenario there is, and once the blood starts flowing, suddenly everything is alright again.

Hopefully this is the case again. And i'm insisting on continuing to make small steps forward. Onwards, upwards, it has to hurt, and it will make me feel like withdrawing, but i'll keep trying...

Otherwise, there's no point dreaming big or carrying out the ambition implanted within me. I say implanted, because i've always have big dreams and big thoughts, but never have it motivate me enough to really push it through. Something else always distracts me, or lack of confidence stopped me from continuing...eitherway, i must try to keep going on for now.