Little things do help.....

"So, what is the main idea of an essay? Can anyone tell me?" the lecturer starts her lecture with her ever American slanged English. No one seems to have an idea what the main idea of an essay is. "Main idea is main idea, there's another name for that?" someone said. But still, the lecturer wouldn't give up until she have someone answering her question. I know fully well what the main idea is. "Is it the thesis statement?" "Yes, it is, now we can move on....."
Somehow I'm not trying to be someone smart here, but this is because I had this education on what a thesis statement and a topic sentence should look like. And I was only in Form 2.

Back then, my class has this really nice teacher. Her name is Miss Deura. She taught us English. I like her because she speaks good English. She made English classes enjoyable. I remember vividly, that in the first class she taught us the "Thesis statement" and the "Topic sentence". She told us the differences on these two main ideas. At first, it doesn't make sense. Those are not part of what is coming out during the exams. She said, "You will find this useful sooner or later." Those words were imprinted in my mind since then, and currently, I really do find it useful.

I find it unbelievable that in just one class, I've been remembering this for over 4 years. I don't know why. Maybe the way she teaches back then was interesting, maybe I was paying full attention. There are so many possibilities on why I remember it so well. And truthfully, I'm glad I did.

Another example of something that I really remember was a newspaper article. There was this news of an old man celebrating his birthday, but this old man was a gambler. He gambled his life possessions away, and he was hunted by the loan sharks so much that his family couldn't take it, and had abandonned him. Since then, he became homeless and was sent to an old folk's home. I just felt like crying after reading that article. Because to me, no matter what kind of sins that they commit, they should be forgiven, especially when they are in an old age. In my opinion, no elderly people should be mistreated even they did something wrong, when they can't walk or even talk properly anymore. That article, and that picture had hit my chest really hard. He's eating his birthday cake, but had eyes filled with sadness. His advice to the young people that gambling will make them lose everything.

I wonder, had they didn't release the picture, will I look at the article the same way? Will I actually felt sadness? And what about the rest? Those who read the same article, will they feel the same as me? I truly believe this is one that should touch the heart of many, as it had done to me. It has been 3 years since I've read that article, I wonder whether had he reconcilate with his family yet, or had he left this world where he'll get the second chance to live a life where he'll never gamble? But one thing for sure, I knew that gambling can indeed hurt the feelings and the relationships of their loved ones. Some may continue to be with them out of love, but some left them because they can't bear to see their loved one being in that state of life. At least, it did help me realise, those who can't control their desires to gamble, please do not do so.

Little things that happens around us, can sometimes be an impact to us, we may never know it until very much later, but at least it helps us overcome our own problems of life. Who knows, maybe that one day if we are in that same situation as theirs, we will know how to solve it. Life is like that, we absorb the lessons that were learnt from another unlucky fellow who had to endure it before he/she can actually gave us advises. Or maybe, he/she just doesn't want us to be the unlucky fellow like him/her too. Anyhow, this is what life has to be. What comes around, goes around. Thank you Miss Deura for teaching me an unforgettable lesson. It's small, but enough for me to remember it. Thanks and good day.

The smell of nature.

I was on the bus yesterday, and it was the eve of Deepavali, a celebration of the Indians. Many of them took the bus. And they were holding all kinds of groceries. One of the most common are the flowers. There are flowers of different size, and when I say size, I mean the whole bunch. Because of that, the bus is filled with the smell of flowers. It smells so good. I had forgotten that it was almost years that I actually can capture that smell.

I usually will smell the flowers the moment I step into the Buddhist temple. That was when I had Sunday Dhamma classes at the temple. Being a devoted Buddhist, my mom reckons that I should study the life of the Buddha with sincerity. And I did enjoy my experience in those classes. But the prospect of waking up early is kind of a burden for myself. I mean, that was what I thought of as a burden. I was only a Primary school kid.

I stopped because I couldn't stand it. I stopped because I realise the people inside they don't really care unless you actually join in with their activities. But I don't have that time. Or at least, my mother doesn't have the time. Handphones are not exactly the kind of choice I had. And I had to borrow the phone from the office where they will charge for the call. The adults are always busy doing something. I don't know what is it that I always be the laughing stock of people. Why would they want to spread stupid jokes and rumours about me and some other guy whom I don't even talk to? I don't know if there is any hidden agenda, but one thing for sure, I had quit because of that too. And that's when I realise, that I'm spiritually weak. Now I only visit the temple annually, when there is the Wesak Day. But we didn't linger for long because of the hot weather and the massive traffic jam. These are the many things that prevents me from visiting the temple.

I begin to wonder if there is any difference of me now if I continue on my Sunday classes and ignoring the taunts and haunts? Will I be more humble? Will I be able to accept the changes on life? Will I be able to lead even better and be able to contribute more? Will I even change myself to be someone who seems soft spoken, but strong at heart? That smell of flowers has pop up all these questions at my head. But it disappeared when many of them went down the bus at the bus stops. No, it will not make any changes. I still am a Buddhist. I understand the theory of Buddhism, and I can tell the difference between different Buddhism. But at crucial times, do I seek Buddha for help?

I guess Buddha knows that one seeks His help, when one helps one's self. He can never helped out anyone who will not help themselves. I may have lessen my actions of showing love and devotion to the Buddha, but still, in my heart, I know that I still believe in this religion, more than ever. I still believe in the Buddha after all, and the smell of those flowers, it helped open up my memories.

Thanks and good day.

Expensive spoons?

Today's "The Star" there was this eye-catching news article that truly caught my eye with the headlines "Cancer patient gets laptop". I read through the article, and I had this feeling of jealousy. A small girl like her can get a laptop because she wishes to have one, courtesy of "The Star" BraTs and some generous companies. Not only her, other children too had Playstation 2 game consoles, bicycles, but of course, that laptop is the one the took away the attention. Wow. If that is the case I might as well pollute myself, have severe cancer and then ask for a car. Mercedes, please?

To me, this is sort of a false tradition that everyone is keeping. Pity the sickly ones and make their wishes come true. Come to think of it, what more can a patient wish, but for their health to return? Should the little girl becomes too weak, can she still play games at her laptop? I'm not saying that this is not good, but why the so-called "wish list" keeps coming up now and then? Orphanage, Children's Home, many projects were done specially for them, conducting a "wish list", then searching for sponsors to make the project come true. I just had to wonder: What is the true purpose? To make the children happy, or to make the company happy with profits?

I've read articles written by physically disabled people or those who are sick. From their account, they didn't seem to ask for much, just a simple and normal life. I may ask, with such a reward in front of those children, will they still want to battle for their life? Or will they continue to be sick so that they can have more pity instead? I'm not sure what is the true meaning of giving out expensive gifts to children, but I hope they do know how to take care of it. After all, a laptop is a laptop. It's not a toy. One has to take really good care of it to prevent the laptop to detoriate.

I really not sure how much more luxury there is in front of the eyes of the children. Will they enjoy every minute of it? What happens if they are to face the cruel society world? Will their parents come and help scold them off? Sometimes I feel that children nowadays are so pampered that they can't lift a finger to do anything. I don't even have to give an example. My sister and brother are both examples! Just a few years difference and they do not know how to face the society, thinking everything will fall right into place! I had to be sarcastic to make them feel embarassed of the actions that they have done. I don't have the right to scold them, because I'm no role model myself, but at the very least I don't recall that I acted like that when I was young! How many more spoons are we manufacturing? Golden Spoons? Silver Spoons? Diamond ones? Pearls? Gems??

Parents, just wake up. I agree that children are lovable, but not pamperable. There is some limit needed before your child becomes out of control. Let them learn from their own mistakes. The old saying "When you fall, stand up for yourselves", does it even appear in your head? Do you want your child to be dependant. Do you want your child to be labelled "spoilt brat"? If this what you want, go ahead. No one is stopping you. You set your child's path to nowhere. There will no future for the next generation if this goes on!

Thanks and good day.

I'm back, but lost....

I'm finally here again, blogging. I'm supposed to enjoy this activity as I would highlight some topics that people tend to ignore. But I felt strange. Due to a virus attack my laptop is not working the same way now, and I felt lost. I can't seem to say it. But my laptop had grown inside me, and after that sudden attack, I became lost in my thoughts. What had happen? Why didn't I know it sooner? It happen almost in a flash and that virus is almost eating up my system, and I kept running anti-virus programs, one after another. I kept battling to make sure it stays alive, and I won, only to fall into a trap and my laptop officially "died" without warning.

Imagine all that heartache I had gone through when that happenned. Of course, that feeling is covered inside and I show more of anxiety. But still I have nightmares. What happens if I can never use my laptop again? What happens then? Am I going back to my old life, where I had to argue with my siblings over excessive usage of the family laptop? I don't know. I really felt a lost now, because that ideal laptop of mine is working properly. I know it's unbelievable, but I felt like crying.

This is almost like you lose a friend, and then when you recall the memories that you have with him or her, you felt so empty inside, you felt like you have spend all your emotional energy focusing on your lost friend, trying to find a way, just to see them again. And you are afraid that you are only dreaming all along, and wake up to find that you have still lost your friend. That hopelessness, and that kind of grief, is bound to make anyone break their nerves down and cry with all their might. I know that feeling so well, because that was what I felt, when my father left the world all of a sudden. But, he left us with lots of problems. And my grief turns to hatred.

I don't know what this means, and of course I can't compare my feelings for my friends to my feelings for a laptop, but I've put all my effort into understanding both of them, and if really my friends leave me without reason, I may have to accept, but somehow I will feel empty inside. Like I have a body without a soul. This emptiness is going to keep us awake, that life is short, and we must appreciate every step that we take. Somehow, we youngsters must feel the passion in life. But too much passion will end up disastrous, and we fall into a grey area where you cannot feel, or, you don't dare to feel anymore.

I'm almost in that grey area, if it wasn't for my purpose in life I would have just fall through, and without warning, my soul taken away from my body, and I become a lifeless shell. But look, here I am with blood, sweat, tears and a heart that can feel the agony and passion that most youngsters have nowadays. I can only say, I am young. And even though I had lost track of myself, I will come back, with a burning desire to live my life. Thanks and good day.

Regret Implants?

Yes everyone, regret implants. How does it work you say? Simply make a fault that is bound to give effects on you, then implant some regret onto yourself, and voila! You are now full of "regrets" because of some mistake. But take note. There are two common types of side effects which you may choose to endure one of them. Or both.

The first is the positive side effect. It shows that you truly felt regret and you will strive hard to achieve the better. In the end, with all that hard work , you became a successful person. It may not be a national issue, but at least you've create history for yourselves! You can even talk about your success in life to your next generation, passing on the legend. And very soon, your descendants will be very proud to have you as their ancestor!

The second is the negative side effect. It shows that you felt so much regret that eventually you become depressed. You tend to prowl around lamenting the faults that you've done, playing the blame game. You blame yourself, and your family, and your friends, and then, to everyone! You felt stupid and you think success is not going to make anyone feel better. So, you turn into a beggar, begging for the sky to drop so you will die of natural causes or making your life look like you've been through hell!

So what is the medicine to make sure the side effects do not occur? I can't really prescribe one. I'm not a practical doctor. But from what I've heard from true doctors, the medicine is "patience". Be patient when problems surface because of your mistake, and correct them, one by one. But be warn! Overdose of patience comes impatience. That will cause you to speed things up without detailed checking of your own past, and you might suffer a "relapse" of making the same mistake again. And this time I won't guarantee that you will have positive side effects, considering that it is the second let down of your life.

So, want to make an appointment? Plant some regrets? Our whole life is full of it. And sadly, it only appears when we feel so crestfallen. Pitiful. But still, we have to move on, and make sure we realise the lesson learnt from planting regret inside us. That's us, we are humans. We need a little regret to know that we are imperfect.

Oh, and regret implants do help if you know how to walk the right way. Thanks and good day. And please do seriously think about this, even though I use humour to cover it up.