The smell of nature.

I was on the bus yesterday, and it was the eve of Deepavali, a celebration of the Indians. Many of them took the bus. And they were holding all kinds of groceries. One of the most common are the flowers. There are flowers of different size, and when I say size, I mean the whole bunch. Because of that, the bus is filled with the smell of flowers. It smells so good. I had forgotten that it was almost years that I actually can capture that smell.

I usually will smell the flowers the moment I step into the Buddhist temple. That was when I had Sunday Dhamma classes at the temple. Being a devoted Buddhist, my mom reckons that I should study the life of the Buddha with sincerity. And I did enjoy my experience in those classes. But the prospect of waking up early is kind of a burden for myself. I mean, that was what I thought of as a burden. I was only a Primary school kid.

I stopped because I couldn't stand it. I stopped because I realise the people inside they don't really care unless you actually join in with their activities. But I don't have that time. Or at least, my mother doesn't have the time. Handphones are not exactly the kind of choice I had. And I had to borrow the phone from the office where they will charge for the call. The adults are always busy doing something. I don't know what is it that I always be the laughing stock of people. Why would they want to spread stupid jokes and rumours about me and some other guy whom I don't even talk to? I don't know if there is any hidden agenda, but one thing for sure, I had quit because of that too. And that's when I realise, that I'm spiritually weak. Now I only visit the temple annually, when there is the Wesak Day. But we didn't linger for long because of the hot weather and the massive traffic jam. These are the many things that prevents me from visiting the temple.

I begin to wonder if there is any difference of me now if I continue on my Sunday classes and ignoring the taunts and haunts? Will I be more humble? Will I be able to accept the changes on life? Will I be able to lead even better and be able to contribute more? Will I even change myself to be someone who seems soft spoken, but strong at heart? That smell of flowers has pop up all these questions at my head. But it disappeared when many of them went down the bus at the bus stops. No, it will not make any changes. I still am a Buddhist. I understand the theory of Buddhism, and I can tell the difference between different Buddhism. But at crucial times, do I seek Buddha for help?

I guess Buddha knows that one seeks His help, when one helps one's self. He can never helped out anyone who will not help themselves. I may have lessen my actions of showing love and devotion to the Buddha, but still, in my heart, I know that I still believe in this religion, more than ever. I still believe in the Buddha after all, and the smell of those flowers, it helped open up my memories.

Thanks and good day.