Motivation - The English Translation

I can't find anything else to talk about so I'll just translate the chinese story I put up as some of my friends have requested. But I might add a few English lingo because translating it fully with that Chinese way of storytelling make things very dull. My own comments will be at the end of the story.

-----That 30 year old secret-----

One evening, I was excitedly riding the motorcycle that my father had just gave me, and I was getting ready to go home from school. While waiting for the traffic lights, I saw my dad and his Ford.

When the lights go green, Dad was driving forward. I tried following him from behind because I wanted to give him a surprise. But wait a minute, he should be turning right so that he could head back to our house. I tried following him and during that journey, I passed three traffic lights. The Ford stopped by a florist, and I saw Dad coming down to receive a bouquet of lovely flowers. It was probably pre-ordered.

Odd, is it Mom's birthday? Is it the wedding anniversary already? Why is he buying flowers for Mom?

He took the flowers and drove off. I was curious, so I decided to stalk him. Dad didn't even turn back to head for home. He just keep going forward, and finally slowed down to an apartment. Dad went and press the doorbell. Not too long after that, a woman came down...when Dad saw her, he gleefully gave her the flowers. Both of them were having a romantic chat, and Dad politely opened the car door for her. And he drove off again.

My heart was skipping fast. I felt nervous, yet angry...my father, who never give flowers to Mom, who never opened a car door for her, is doing this! Everytime my dad goes out my mom would try to follow him behind, jogging!

"My major is history, so I must know the reason behind everything, know where my dad is going!" I rode the motorcycle and kept stalking him from behind, but at the same time I was afraid of getting caught. After that, the Ford finally stopped at a fancy restaurant. Dad was smirking and happy when he hugged "That Woman", escorting her into the restaurant.

That night I was sick with fury. I didn't want to go home, but I don't know what to do. I just take the motorcycle and roam around. But at 10.30pm, I still went back home. When I walked in, Dad and Mom were watching TV in the living room.

"You're back. Have you had dinner yet?" Dad still put up that concerned voice of his, and told Mom, "Quickly heat up the food, let our son eat".

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH! Stop it! Stop pretending!" I shouted at him, "You insignificant bastard! You don't have to pretend that you are such a 'good father'! You cheater!"

My parents were shocked to hear me say such words.

"Tell me! Who was that woman? Why are you giving her flowers? And bringing her out for a romantic dinner!" I was shouting so loudly I almost woke up the entire neighbourhood. "You cheater! You ain't scared of karma is it! Are you even human??"

He went white after hearing those words, and Mom, she just sat there, listening.

I turned towards her and said "MOM! Why aren't you speaking up for yourself?? You served him just like a maid! Everyday! Do you even know that he has a mistress, why aren't you even angry???"

Dad finally couldn't take it and went upstairs without a word.

"MOM! Stop being so naive can or not? You saved so much money just to let this bastard spend it on his woman! Like what people said, whenever a husband has an affair, the wife is the last ones to know. Look, even I knew it before you, so WHY aren't you speaking up??" I couldn't control myself from continuing to shout "Mom, just get a divorce! I'll call Sis home, we'll give you support!"

"STOP IT! STOP YELLING ABOUT YOUR FATHER!" Mom finally spoke "Your father, he has treated me well, really well"

"Mom! You are still saying these words??" I couldn't believe my ears. "He HAVE A MISTRESS! And You said he was treating you well?"

She wiped her tears off and slowly said "You CANNOT, call your sister back, she's married, and have her own family, please don't disturb her! Your sister, she's was in my womb for four months when your father married me. Your sister wasn't even his daughter...." She was sobbing really hard.

"When your father knew I was pregnant, and got abandonned by that man, he offered his marriage to me...let me have a will to continue on meeting people, have a will to continue on living..." she kept wiping away her tears and said "Your father knew that your sister was not his biological daughter, but still loved her so much, and offered to pay a large sum of dowry on her wedding day. Your father treated me very well, how can I complain?"

XXXXX

This was heard in a sharing session called "Growing up through Communication" when Jian Min told us that story. Even after so long, his eyes still water as he told the story above.

"The next day, when I saw my parents, I don't even know what to say. I just felt that this whole family concept was fake, I couldn't stand the environment!"

After that, Jian Min found an excuse to move out of the house, stating that workload was heavy and it's better to move to a place near the university. His parents never objected.

After graduating with a Major in History, and going for National Service, Jian Min found a teaching job, and also got into a relationship. At one time, he was telling the story of "that incident" again, to his girlfriend. And after listening to the story, his girlfriend said

"But don't you think your parents are actually very noble? Imagine living in an era that your parents lived when they were younger, if your dad didn't marry your mom, and let her be abandonned by a man and also with a four months' pregnancy, do you think she have the face and the will to live? She could have committed suicide. Will you exist then? And your father, even when having an affair was his mistake, but he knew long ago that your sister wasn't his biological daughter, but still treat her like family, and keep that 30 year old secret, if it was you, can you do it? Can you do better than your father?"

His girlfriend was seeing it from a third person's perspective, and she said "Even if you can't forgive your parents, at least pity them, because that 30 year old secret was burdensome and filled with pressure. And why couldn't you forgive your father's one mistake, when he treated you a hundred times better than that?"

Jian Min kept think about his girlfriend's words, especially that question "Can you do it if it was you? Can you do better than your father?"

"I realised that my father was really good to me and Sis. When we were sick, he'd spent sleepless nights making sure that we were okay. But I was cursing him, wishing him to die"

In the end, Jian Min said "Now I felt a lot of regret and remorse, why did I have to stalk my father, why did I have to be so caring about what he's doing. I study history that is why everytime I only want to see the truth, but after knowing it.....I really regret, why do I have to know so much?"

--------

The moral of that story was for Jian Min to stop himself and try to understand that sometimes even as their parents make mistakes, they shouldn't forget about their good deeds.

Of course the purpose wasn't really there as commented by one of the anonymous commenters because I think he was right, I couldn't see the real reason behind telling the story. So the reason is that because they married out of love so his father have the rights to go cheat on his wife? And that as a son Jian Min is supposed to understand why he is allowed to do that?

I don't know lah, Taiwanese are just weird sometimes.

But I call it my personal motivational piece was because I admire the level of tolerance portrayed by the wife. Granted, it could be the lack of her education but she was really forgiving. That is something hard to achieve by any women at all.

I feel for that woman especially since I'm in a relationship myself. I don't how to put it, but, insecurities will always be there. I cannot just say that I trust him fully, not after seeing so many heartbreaks.

But at the same time, I feel at awe over the women who could overcome really painful situations. I could relate to it. Almost.

But no, it wasn't my relationship. It was something that I have never talked about. Even Ephyon only knew about it today wtf.

It was like this. About 3 months after my father's demise, my mom wanted to clean out the closet, to rid of my dad's things, for donation purposes and also for more space. I was rummaging into some of my dad's younger stuff, like denim jackets, leather coats, and blazers.

And I was digging out the pockets of those blazers when I found a box of condoms. Being innocent as I was at 14, I took it out and showed it to my mom. I asked her what it was. She just answered condoms. I didn't know its usage back then. And she tried to explain it to me without giving out too much details so I sort of know what it really means.

Then she asked "where did you find them?" I told her I found it in a blazer.

With one look, she told me "That was your father's favourite blazer to wear when he goes up to Genting Highlands. Calls it his lucky blazer when gambling."

Favourite....blazer.....Genting......condoms.......oh no........

I was a little bit like Jian Min. I really wanted to know what was going on. Was he....cheating on my mom?

I tried asking her "Daddy, did he, did he, try to do something behind you? Did he...did he try.....?"

My mom's answer back then was so shocking, I'm still impressed with it.

She said, "I don't know, and I'm not interested to find out. He's already gone."

It was true. My dad, even if he could have done something behind her, he's not going to come into my dreams to explain the story behind everything. He was dead. And I don't hate a dead guy. Not until after I found out that he gambled my education funds which could have sent me to Australia down the drains anyway.

But I guess I still have that question in mind. But most importantly, I still love my dad.

Would you?