How to be femes blogger.

Super bored, so currently taking my eyes off reports and taking a leaf out of Ryan Higa's context to create and present you:

HOW TO BE......FEMES BLOGGER! from an unrealiable source

Lesson no.1

You Must Know which year you start your blog. This is to show how and what kind of characteristics you must possess to be femes.

If you start blogging since premature blog times (2002 - 2005), you are basically already super femes, even though what you post is only about your personal lives, and had no true deep context at all.

If you start blogging since the Golden Age of Blogs (2005 - 2006), you are there, but not there. That means you must churn out real shit (with proper or improper context), to stay on course with all the top top bloggers. And half of those who started to blog at this time don't even survive because the super femes are still there, so chances of you being femes if you blog at this era, is slim, but only if you have other titles (like famous author, famous lawyer, famous asshole)

If you start blogging at the Misused Age of Blogging (2007 - now), most probably you spam comments and asking femes bloggers to read your blog, and only rely on other blogs to feed your poor soul (and soul-less blog), and if you need to be even more femes, easy, join an internet advertising company! Sure boost your status to celebrity status within a jiffy. Your chances to be femes is more than those who had been blogging since the Golden Age, because you absorbed enough knowledge to start your own blog.

Lesson no. 2

You Must Show Pictures of yourself to be femes. Don't care if you are skinny, tall, dark, ugly, not ugly. Heck, not even your real pictures also! Use something to represent you. Sure attract people anyway. Pictures say a thousand words yes?

Mine is this:

It's from Face Your Manga. Can turn your face to look manga-like. So this avatar somewhat represents me, with all that angst yes?

Lesson no. 3

You must know the category of bloggers.

Because since 2007 onwards some hidden misunderstood (not to mention misguided) philosopher decides to categorise bloggers into a few categories so that blog followers will worship them solely and not divert their attention elsewhere.

So we have:

Socio-political bloggers (or so-po bloggers) - Bloggers who only blog regarding about Social and Political issues only. A rare personal account of themselves will submerge from time to time.

Example: Tony Pua, Jeff Ooi, Education in Malaysia, Rocky's Bru, Marina Mahathir.

Mixed up bloggers - Bloggers who practically mix things up from Politics, to Social, to Personal, and then to Thought-provoking issues. Oh and might I add, these bloggers are rather rare.

Example: Zewt, Vincent, Minishorts.

Particular-field bloggers - Bloggers who are assigned to blog only about certain stuff, like travel, food, fashion, and so on. They blog for the sake of giving good feedback, and for people to seek reviews, not to mention gain knowledge on certain areas.

Example: Nicole Kiss, KY, Suanie, Eyeris

Personal bloggers - Bloggers who mostly post just their personal lives, updates it more often, and mostly just rants about what they can do about life too. They occasionally will venture into politics and social stuff but only when the issue is "heboh" enough.

Example: Pretty much every other blogger out there. Femes personal bloggers would be Fireangel, Canni Sia (not that personal anymore though), May Zhee, Sweat Lee, and Pinkpau. Mostly girls that can be that femes posting personal stuff I might add.

Flaming bloggers - Bloggers who flame and flame and flame somemore, pretty much anything that pisses them off. Most flame bloggers are actually quite good at flaming others, and their purpose not only create an ecological balance on the blogosphere, they provide very good humour and gossip.

Example: Shadowfox, Raja Petra Kamaruddin.

Celebrity Bloggers - I don't even know how they exist. They just turn celebrity, having millions worshipping their blog, complaining that they don't get enough. They are normal, but they just turn freakish the moment these supporters are around. Oh and might I add, they are the ones who earns money through blogging too.

Example: Keju, Canni, Snowing, Dawn itch (See, I can't even pronounce their names properly. And I won't provide URLs for this category since they are femes enough anyways)

Messed Up bloggers - Bloggers who are pretty much high even without substance and would stop at nothing to try and make themselves look funny even though they know deep inside them they are not. But it don't matter, because they just want to publicly humiliate themselves to be femes. Negative or positively femes, it don't matter, still femes.

Example: Me. (didn't see that coming did you?)

And with these three lessons, you'll see, your site meter, it'll go up...

Up...

and UP some more!

Teehee! The End

*Disclaimer: This blogger will not be responsible for offending anyone because her brain is half-fried due to overheating from studying mcLuhan, Habermas, Agenda setting, and Marxist. She only seeks to entertain people who bothered to read her blog. Again, she's too poor to pay for any lawsuit.*