I'm not happy.

I would have thought that guys who do their best to try and hurt their girlfriends are the worst scums in the world. Like the hotel throwing out case, but no matter how he debates, he was still wrong for letting her out like that, and not doing anything to chase her back.

I thought he wouldn't. My own love wouldn't

But he did.

He told me to get out of the car, in front of so many people sitting in the car with him.

And no one defended me.

I'm not happy. I've got what I presumed as a scum as my boyfriend.

I'm so confused right now. I'd thought no matter how angry a person is, they shouldn't do that.

But he did. I'm disappointed, frustrated, angry, sad. But what am I to do? 

His birthday mah.

And then he repeated that getting out of his car, so many times.

For once I wished he just walk away and join all his buddies (and mine) for his dinner, then I go take the public transport home.

And then he followed me.

It's just so weird, having a boyfriend who just want to chased you away and then following you until you stop and look straight at him.

But I'm not happy anyway, getting such a treatment.

I'm sure he would say that he wouldn't be happy when he sees this, but ah, who the fuck cares? If he didn't want me blogging about it then he shouldn't do that to me.

Probably a public scrutiny will wake him up.

I had to say that I'm sorry for ruining his birthday mood.

Then who's sorry can I hear from because I've just lost the respect of being equal, and being a loved one? Should loved ones be commanded like that?

Feeling ranty, sleepy, teary and the lost of respect for men. This is not how I want to be loved. I'd thought I want to protect his image in public, didn't want to scold him, tegur him in public. And he mistook that as my way to ruin his mood.

In the end he was happy again, and I tried to be, but I am so damn fucking sad inside. I still feel fucked up, I still feel angry, and yet?

No one was there to protect me.

I'm not happy. I just want to get consolation. Even if this will be scorned, but again, who the fuck cares?