Grrr post

What's wrong with the weather?

As if staying along the line of the Equator is not enough, dry heat decides to take over as well. What's with the freaking weather? Rain damn it! Who cares if it caused a flash flood? At least I'll have a reason to skip my class. Things are really getting depressing as the semester looms nearer to the end. I only have confidence (so far) in my Political Science subjects.

And I officially declare that I hate reading mainstream blogs. Blogs that turn mainstream for no reason that does not reflect his or her views but rather stories about something is now officially not worth reading from me. I have newer and better authors to read from, and for some reason they are all anonymous, apart from the political blogs which I have been reading.

Add another quote thought out by me: "If women are born to believe, then men are born to not deceive". Unfortunately all men cannot tolerate with that fact, but it's true.

The only mistake I've done is to let him know that I never trust anyone fully. Now everything he's doing will always be accumulated into attempts to gain my complete trust whenever we have a fight. Latest was last night, and I'm still a little affected by it.

I took a brain sex test before, that revealed that I'm both a brain of a man and a woman. Ephyon took it and his brains are more inclined to being male.

So much for egoistic fights, because both sides will never lose until someone made a mistake. And I'm special that way, because I always took the position to become a hateable woman, a woman that no man would ever want in their life.

And I wouldn't even bother to find myself to be in a relationship ever since I've reached university, because I was pushed further to uphold the responsibility to be a strong woman given by my mom. I had no choice, I had to be a man, because I'm the eldest, because my brother is too young, because my dad is no longer there. And even if he's still alive, he would've been a lame duck, a useless good-for-nothing waiting for me to scold the hell out of him for wasting my supposed education funds down the drains of the casinos in Genting Highlands. Even as I argue with a few male counterparts, I told them "to hell with relationship if I have to. Its not like when I die people would bother to look and visit me".

The past few events had further proven how much I've grown ever since I left secondary school, being able to handle situations just thrown at me whenever possible. My mother is no longer doubting my abilities, just my commitments. Because of what I've done, my late grandfather managed to live for another month, and because I was calm enough, he was able to be sent to the hospital that pro-longed his life until he had seen most of his family. Had it been given to my sister or brother, I think they would have panicked. They would just wait till my mom gets home. By that time, it would be impossible to save his life.

It is not admitted in anyone's lips, not even my relatives, but they now know the significance of having me as a leader to control the family. My mother now never doubts me for being able to pull off emergency situations.

I'm officially a "man" of my house.

So now, as we are stepping into the 18th month of our relationship, I felt that maybe, I would be filling in the shoes of the bridegroom. Because he needs some assurance, not from the weaker me, but the stronger me.

And that is what I will promise to give.